That’s how the light gets in

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away
Or what is yet to be

Ah, the wars they will be fought again
The holy dove, she will be caught again
Bought and sold, and bought again
The dove is never free

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

(Leonard Cohen - Anthem)

It took me a long time to understand why I was feeling broken. Guilt, shame, anger, sadness. All the acting out, withdrawal, disconnection. All those masks I’ve kept on my face for so long that I’ve largely forgotten there’s a mask on. All that hurt coming out as rage. All that rage leading to more hurt.

It also took me a long time to accept my brokenness and be ok with it. Stop trying to hide it from myself and from others. Work with it. Own it.

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I took these photos in August last year. A quiet evening at the edge of the forest. Backlit summer flowers through the tall grass.