What if I stop running?

The endless struggling and competing. Trying to be a good pupil, a good friend, a good lover, a good parent.

Constantly pushing myself to the limit. Feeling that it’s never good enough.

Always running towards something, which means always running away from something.

What if I stop spinning the wheel?

The forest at sunrise (October 2021)

Sometimes I am just so tired, as if I were carrying the weight of the world. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood of always motivating myself, always rationalizing the need to keep on running.

To stop running does not mean to stop wanting things, to be passive or resigned.

It simply means to stop trying so hard that it’s actually taking away life instead of enhancing life.

Remember one of those moments when you couldn’t succeed in something because you were too aware, too focused, and too invested in it? Well, I can tell you I remember lots of them. Once I let go of the striving, I usually found it miraculously easy to do it right.

As if an invisible obstacle had been silently removed.

The point is not to disengage in order to trick your mind into performing better. Doing this means you’re still running.

The point is to take a break and allow yourself to be ok with succeeding and also ok with non-succeeding. To accept both of them. Acceptance, not resignation.

All the struggling and aggravation around our non-succeeding makes us miserable while adding very little to our life, to what actually counts.

With that being said, I put on my sneakers and go out for my morning run.

  1. Remember that live even 200 years ago, for most people, life used to be a struggle to stay alive while fearing The forces of nature and trying to pleases an almighty God. Hard work to survive, and die relatively young on average. Science has freed us a lot of time (although it might not seem like that) and we need to fill it with things to do. Our instincts have not changed, we still have the need to reproduce, guarantee that our offspring succeeds, compete, achieve, survive. And now we have a lot of time to do it and think about it, we’re relatively healthy and not exhausted every day from manual labor: all that energy needs to go somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True. It also explains the cultural drive to compete and achieve, often at the cost of personal misery. Maybe I should go back to manual labor 🙂

      Like

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